Well, last night was the final Twilight-related podcast for Your Book is Why Daddy Drinks but I’m still here with another six hundred pages of Breaking Dawn to go through. Thankfully a lot of the book can be glossed over. So let’s get glossing.
Meyer decides to switch things up on us on page 143 by starting off “Book 2″ of New Dawn from Jacob’s perspective. Yes we get to live in the emo jerk’s head for a while, what fun!
Jacob, having returned to be able to lose his mind at Bella one last time before she stopped breathing, is back at home. Paul, the pack’s most annoying member with how he’s portrayed, has moved in to the Black’s tiny home since he imprinted on Jacob’s sister. Again, Meyer makes it sound like the imprintee gets no say in the matter, that they wouldn’t have any kind of issue with having someone obsessed over them.
It’s pretty clear from the first glimpses we have of Jacob’s mind that he’s gone round the bend as his thoughts dwell on death and murder: the possible death of Bella from a failed attempt at becoming a sparklepire, her death in becoming a sparklepire, and how the Cullens would try to cover it up either way. He thinks about killing the Cullens frequently.
Morose, Jacob leaves his too-small home, goes down to the La Push beach, and runs into Quil and Claire, the baby he imprinted on and we get to see him acting like an older sibling to her (you know, an older sibling who, eventually, will be doing his best to mate with her… *shudder*).
“I can’t imagine. I just don’t…see anyone that way. I don’t notice girls anymore, you know. I don’t see their faces.”
Sam calls a meeting of the pack and informs them that Bella and Edward returned home to Forks and got in touch with Charlie to tell him they were home but that Bella was really sick and she needed to be quarantined. Jacob thinks this means that Bella has been turned and by his interpretation of the treaty that would mean the Cullens broke the rules. The pack isn’t so sure, because Bella could really be sick and also being a sparklepire was her wish, but Jacob is more a “letter of the law” type of guy it seems. Jacob doesn’t like the way the conversation goes and takes off for home, changing back to human to so the pack doesn’t hear him thinking up his plan to go do his best to take out as many of the Cullens as possible.
Only his plan doesn’t quite go as he thinks. He gets there and immediately can tell that A) Bella is alive and B) that something is seriously, seriously wrong. And then Bella gets up and he see’s that she’s pregnant.
I could only guess that she looked like this – so pregnant, so sick – because whatever was inside her was taking her life to feed its own…Because it was a monster. Just like its father.
Edward calls Jacob out and Jacob thinks he’s going to finally get his fight. Instead, he gets schooled.
He stopped without warning and pivoted to face me. His expression froze me again.
For a second I was just a kid – a kid who had lived all of his life in the same tiny town. Just a child. Because I knew I would have to live a lot more, suffer a lot more, to ever understand the searing agony in Edward’s eyes.
They talk about what’s going on and Jacob asks why they haven’t done anything about it yet. Edward says that Bella will not let them, which, really, is par for the course as far as Bella’s record regarding intelligent, life-sustaining decisions goes and Jacob feels the same.
It took a minute for the words to sink in. Jeez, she was running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It was so Bella.
Going along with Bella is Rosalie, whom Bella snuck away and called at the end of Book One. Rosalie, it turns out, is protecting Bella, well, really she’s protecting the sparklefetus out of some desire to have a make-up child for the babies that were stolen from her when she was turned into a vampire. Emmett is of course backing her up as is Esme, which means that the rest of the Cullen family will not move against them, even if it means Bella is killed by the sparklefetus. Edward is so desperate to save her that he even offers to let Jacob father a kid with Bella if he was successful in getting her to give up this one; Jacob is both shocked, disgusted, and somewhat intrigued (guess there’s no polyamory in Meyer’s Twilight universe either). However, even Jacob is incredulous about the idea.
I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind. “Make Bella see sense? What universe do you live in?”
However, Jacob ultimately agrees to the plan on the condition he gets to kill Edward the moment after Bella’s heart stops beating* (thanks, Mel!). The next chapter, titled “Why didn’t I just walk away? Oh right, because I’m an idiot”, is so snarkily accurate I don’t need to add any further comment on it other than pointing it out.
Jacob goes in to try and talk sense to her and has about as much success as anyone else trying to talk sense into Bella Swann. Bella is relying on the idea that, somehow, everything will work out the way it’s supposed to, that some kind of magic will happen and she’ll pull through this sparklepire pregnancy, and, even if she doesn’t, she’s hoping to rely on the magic of sparklepire venom to see her through.
“It’s not some pretty baby in there, Bella.”
“We’ll see,” she said. Almost smug.
“You won’t,” I snarled.
“You’re very pessimistic, Jacob. There is definitely a chance that I might walk away from this.”
Definitely might be a chance? How do the words “definitely” and “might” go together? Definitely means something will happen while might implies there a chance that it won’t. *sigh* Jacob forgets who he is talking to and tries to appeal to her sense of self-preservation.
“It’s a killer, Bella. Look at yourself.”
“He’s not. It’s me. I’m just weak and human. But I can tough this out, Jake, I can—”
She gasped then and clutched at her stomach. My fury vanished like a light switch being turned off.
“I’m fine,” she panted. “It’s nothing.”
But I didn’t hear; her hands had pulled her sweatshirt to the side, and I stared, horrified, at the skin it exposed. Her stomach looked like it was stained with big splotches of purple-black ink.
She saw my stare, and she yanked the fabric back in place.
“He’s strong, that’s all,” she said defensively.
The ink spots were bruises.
Here’s a list of things that people tough out:
1. Bad dates
3. Visits from annoying family members
5. Stressful work assignments
6. Physical exertion
You know what doesn’t appear on that list? Having womb-devouring sparklebabies.
Jacob ultimately leaves when it’s clear he’s not accomplishing anything and shifts into werewolf form to check in with the pack. And that’s when the pack gets the whole story and collectively loses its mind, going from “Hey, the Cullens are ok and this is Bella’s decision” to “WTFISTHATOMGKILLTHEABOMINATION” and it’s Jacob, he who wasn’t so long ago calling it a monster and implying it was murdering Bella, who tries to get everyone to just chill, man. The pack, however, has no interest in chilling out and Sam uses the Alpha voice, which is described as a “double timbre”, to order Jacob and Seth to join with the pack in attacking the Cullens’ home. The weight of the orders feels like chains dragging him down until Jacob realizes that, as the descendent of a pack Alpha, he doesn’t need to follow the orders; he can be the Alpha of his own pack and then Sam’s word doesn’t mean anything. He does this and suddenly he’s free. And packless. Which throws Sam and the rest for a loop and Jacob runs off on his own.
For about three seconds and then Seth is following him. Turns out that pack members can chose to leave as well and Seth follows after him not unlike the little brother that Jacob never wanted. Together they race back to the sparklepires to warn them about an attack that, ultimately, never comes (because why have real conflict when fake conflict will suffice?). Bella is doing worse and the werewolves become the sparklepires’ guardians.
It’s not long after that another member of Jacob’s new pack shows up, Leah Clearwater. Tired of being around Sam and worry about Seth caused her to leave the other pack. Jacob and her bicker and snap at each other, Jacob trying to drive her off and Leah deciding to ignore him for the most part. Since he can’t get rid of her Jacob sends the Clearwater siblings off to do patrols and returns to the house where he has a long talk with Carlisle who expresses his thanks and explains what’s happening with Bella. It’s about this time that they hit on the idea that the fetus may be “thirsty” since it’s draining so much from Bella.
Now, starting from this point we get to see the creepiest character in this book. It’s not Edward. It’s not Jacob.
She’s obsessive, crazy, and after Bella’s kid. Once they’ve come up with the idea to feed Bella blood, Jacob thinks that Rosalie would jam a feeding tube down Bella’s throat if she felt like it would save the fetus. Once Bella starts drinking Rosalie is practically bouncing on her toes to see that Bella is A) liking it and B) almost immediately improving before their eyes. The level of attention she focuses on Bella is almost uncomfortable to watch and in some weird way I found myself getting protective of Bella like Rosalie might turn into one of those women from bad, made-for-TV dramas who befriend a pregnant woman just to knife her in the spine and carve their unborn baby from their wombs with a butcher’s knife to later pass them off as their own children.
I’m not at all surprised to read that Rosalie joins the growing number of people who stare at Bella while she sleeps.
After the blood-drinking experiment succeeds Jacob shifts to get in touch with the Clearwaters and Seth warns them that some of the other pack are coming in, so the three of them go to meet Quil, Paul, and Collin. The other three try to convince Jacob and Company to return to the pack but they aren’t hearing it and Sam’s pack pretty much decide to leave them alone.
And that’ll be it as far as this write-up goes. We’re left at this point with Jacob an unwilling Alpha with two packmates that annoy the hell out of him for entirely different reasons, Rosalie treating Bella like a prize pet and everyone else like a threat, and Bella being as stupid as she usually is. What will happen to Bella? Well, we already know. But find out later when I do more of this stupid book!