31 Days of Twilight – Day 7 – Really? REALLY? or The End And Not A Moment Too Soon

I hate this book.

So, Bella is in Arizona with Alice and Jasper having fled Forks to get away from James, the tracker vampire who is obsessively pursuing Bella to get at her tasty, tasty blood. All seems to be going well until Alice gets another vision, this time of James inside Bella’s mom’s house. They decide that maybe Phoenix isn’t so great after all, calls are made to the vampires back in Forks to come down quick. Preparations are being made for Bella to run when she gets a call from her mom, only it’s not her mom really, it’s James who has her mom and will kill Renee if Bella doesn’t come, alone, to him.


But no. No. It’s not to be.

Bella gives Alice and Jasper the slip at the airport when they go to meet Edward’s arriving plane and goes to meet up with James at the dance studio that Alice first saw in her mind, the one around the corner from her mom’s place. There she finds James but not her mom; it turns out that James used clever clips from her mom’s home movies in order to make it sound like he had Renee. Renee, instead, is safely unaware in Florida that her daughter is about to become the victim in a horrible book.


James taunts Bella, videotaping the scene so that he can leave something for Edward other than Bella’s drained corpse. We learn that part of his motivation, now, is actually because of Alice. Apparently, years ago, Alice was locked up in a sanitarium for the visions she possessed and kept in what essentially was a dark room where she was more or less catatonic. An old vampire worked at the sanitarium, cared about Alice, and found out that James was hunting her, so he took her from the hospital and turned her into a vampire. This pissed off James, who then killed the old vampire, but the old vampire did save Alice in that she was no longer attractive as prey for James and also awake and out of the sanitarium. Aside from the challenge of taking Bella away from Edward, Bella also has become a stand-in for Alice since she was “the one who got away”.

Bella tries to run, is thrown into one of the large mirrored walls, has her leg broken, and is thrown again into the mirrors where she receives a deep cut to her scalp. As she begins to bleed out and go into shock, James starts to lose control from all the blood and then Bella blacks out.

Do you remember the uproar about the ending of the Sopranos, how people felt cheated by the ending? That is how I feel about the last plot arc of Twilight. To have this killer James talked up so much, to see him finally corner Bella, to see her just about dead, only to have him killed off scream felt like such a tease and cop out that it made me even more annoyed by the book than I already was.

She comes to a little but is almost completely out of it. We know that the Cullens arrived in the nick of time and that they kill James off camera. Carlisle checks her out and her injuries are serious although not life threatening except for that James, at some point, bit Bella on the hand, poisoning her. The poison starts to work, causing her pain as it begins to convert her, and Carlisle suggests that Edward suck the poison out of her. Edward’s a little freaked out by the suggestion out of fear he might not stop once he had her tasty blood but between possibly killing her and definitely watching her die Edward gets to sucking (well, literally this time). Carlisle does the doctor thing, Bella wakes up in the hospital, has a scene with Renee where Bella reveals that, no, really, she actually likes Forks quite a lot and will be going back. There’s other conversation with Edward but it’s unimportant and the book concludes with Edward sneakily taking Bella to prom, Jacob showing up because his uncle paid him to go (and what girl doesn’t like hearing a boy only came to dance with her because his grandfather promised him a car part?), Jacob and Bella dancing, and then more sap between Edward and Bella.

So, now that I’m done with Twilight what do I think about it?

My opinion is still unchanged: it’s crap, a hot mess of bad writing, bad examples for kids, one-dimensional characters with little to no action and surprisingly little plot (and what plot that is there, Bella and Edward’s growing relationship, is pretty dull all things considered).

I think at the end of all of this I’m going to write a few posts about why I think the characters are crap and not examples I’d ever want kids to emulate.

With Twilight behind us, we move on to the next book in the series. What that is I couldn’t tell you at the moment, I don’t care really, I’m exhausted, and I’m going to bed. In closing, I will leave you with this:

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2 Responses to 31 Days of Twilight – Day 7 – Really? REALLY? or The End And Not A Moment Too Soon

  1. jer says:

    Hilarious! Makes me wanna almost read it.

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