Sorry for the lateness of this post, I was camping this weekend and the sleeping conditions were less than optimal so when I got home Sunday all I wanted to do was just goof off and relax and even coming up with a ridiculous post felt like too much work. So to make it up to all of you I bring you an extra helping of crazy for your morning.
In the category of “that probably seemed like a better idea in theory than in practice”, when is a banana not a banana? when your teacher is talking about ‘long, cylindrical objects, phalluses and/or sex symbols’ and running a banana over your head and neck. No details if he was also giving the student what he thought were “Come hither” looks. Yikes.
From South Florida, a place that common sense forgot, we have this random story of a man who needed a beer, so he broke into someone’s house through the second story, smashed all the televisions in the house, splattered mustard on the walls, left unintelligible messages for the home owners (I’d like to think he meant to tell them they were out of beer), wore his shirt over his head like the Great Cornholio, fled that house from the cops arrived, briefly eluded police in order to break into another house to steal two bottles of Heineken (Really, Heineken? Really?), didn’t even get to drink said beer as he punched a police K-9 officer in the face, and was eventually taken down.
Unsurprisingly, he’s done prison time for drug-related offenses.
Finally, a story “close-ish” to home, be careful who you mess with as two men learned when they tried to rob another man and ended up getting attacked with a “samurai sword”. Actually, the article first says “the samurai-wielding homeowner” which is a much funnier mental image. Hey, that lacquer armor had some pointy bits and I bet if someone is strong enough to wield a samurai in battle they could put some force behind their swings. Though that begs the question: is the samurai being used like a big, armored mace or is the samurai, in turn, wielding his sword in some form of meta-weapon?
Anyway, good morning!